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Just Sit There and Do Nothing

My fiancée and I were speaking recently about the ability to sit still in what we both refer to as a "boring" environment and just do nothing.  It's a challenge for each of us, as we both tend to engage ourselves in something, whether we're reading, watching a movie, or playing an online game, and we always fight the urge to just sit there and do nothing (and be contemplative or meditative). I know that there's a great deal of value and power of sitting and doing nothing.  Jerry Seinfeld became a household name (not to mention a millionaire) from a TV show that was about nothing, so something about nothing can pay off quite well.

I was reminded of this conversation as my options presented themselves when Hurricane Humberto blew through town.  I could have hung out at home with no power, no phone, no AC, and no way to cook meals.  There would have been ample opportunity to catch up on sleep and on my reading or just sit and be, albeit in 90 degree heat.  It would have meant roughing it, but the lure of electricity won me over, and I was off to spend a few days at my mom's house, where I could again access all the comforts of home, a mere 1.5 hour drive from my home.  Another opportunity to just sit there and do nothing lost again to modern conveniences.

It's even tough for me to relax and take it easy when I'm on vacation.  In the past, I've needed a vacation to recover from my vacation because I've spent my vacation running around doing lots of things, and rarely sat still for a moment.  As I've gotten older, I've become more comfortable with spending my vacation time in reflection and just sitting and contemplating my life and business. It is at the point where we permit ourselves to be still and be present in the moment that truly great things (and thoughts) come our way. Most of the ideas I've implemented in my business have come from this meditative time.

I would have to call this time the mental equivalent of the physical act of clearing clutter.  Getting away from external distractions (television, books, computer, people, traffic) and just choosing to just "be" can provide you with more clarity than you might imagine.  Because of the American work ethic that's ingrained in us from the time we are born (remember your mom saying, "Don't just sit there -- do something!"), I often feel guilty when I'm not productive -- like I'm wasting my time and my life.

Now that I'm learning to let go of the guilt, I'm amazed at how quickly time passes when I just sit out on the patio and watch the squirrels, thinking of nothing in particular.  My favorite way to create this time for myself is to take a scenic drive down a country road with little traffic.  I turn the radio off and let my thoughts wander.  I guess this isn't so great for the environment, as I'm burning carbon-based fuel as I drive, but this strategy works for me.

Since I've experienced the beauty of just sitting there and doing nothing, I want to incorporate it into my life on a regular basis.  I'm not sure I have the patience to practice it daily, so my goal is to take a few hours weekly and find a peaceful location and just let my thoughts wander and be present in the moment.  I am contemplating "what's next" for me in this adventure I call my business and my life, so it'll be interesting to see what bubbles to the top.

Where are you stuck in your life or your business?  Not sure what your goals are or in what direction to turn?  Remove yourself from distraction (go outside to a beautifully serene location, perhaps) and see how valuable the act of sitting there and doing nothing can be for you.

Time to Slow Down

I think I'm getting a message from the Universe that it's time to slow down.  I feel like I've been going full steam since Jan. 1 rolled around, and my life has become even more frenzied in the last month or so.  About 2 weeks ago I could feel a cold coming on (sore throat, ear ache) and started drinking a water mixture made from Airborne to ward off the cold, and it seemed to work.  I guess I became giddy with success too soon, as I started to experience some chest congestion last week.  By Friday, I knew that the cold was upon me.  And I had been doing so well, too -- I haven't had a full cold since Aug. 2005.  I'm really kicking myself for not taking time to go and buy more Airborne when I ran out...LOL

I spent last weekend in bed trying to recuperate, as I knew I had a busy week ahead of me this week.  Wouldn't you know it -- the worst part of the cold hit me like a cannonball on Tuesday.  Thankfully, I really haven't had to talk to many people -- I'm so stuffed up that it hurts my head to speak.

So, because I have too much to do to crawl up in my bed and die like I really want to <g>, I've been working a bit and then napping a bit and then working and napping again. And, so far, that routine seems to be working pretty well for me.  I'm so glad that I don't have to display my "death warmed over" look to an office full of people -- another luxury of working from home!

Fortunately, I don't think that cold germs have become smart enough to spread via email newsletters or blogs (although I hear hackers are experimenting with that next <g>), so I think you're safe to continue to read on without catching my germs..:)

Survey on Business Challenges

We had an excellent conversation yesterday on the topic of "Maintaining Balance Between Work, Rest, and Play" in the Self-Employment Success Coaching Gym.  "How do you prevent yourself from feeling like you're working all the time?" was the primary focus of the discussion.  One member of the gym reported feeling guilty if she were out having fun rather than working.  Another reported struggling with the notion of discipline and having to set a work schedule. A third mentioned some tactics she used to prevent her office from "calling" to her at nights and on weekends.

What's the biggest challenge you face in your business?  I'd love to hear your opinion, and you can share it here: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=633021926696

The Balancing Act: How to Maintain Your Business and Your Romantic Relationship without Losing Either One

I'll be the first to admit I'm the "Donna-come-lately" in this game of simultaneously managing a business and a romantic relationship.  When I was married the first time around at age 26, I worked in higher education administration and was completely and totally devoted to my job -- not necessarily to the exclusion of my marriage -- but for many years my marriage and my relationship took a back seat to my job.  Big mistake.  That issue and a host of other reasons led to the dissolution of my marriage and the finalization of my divorce after almost 10 years of marriage in 1999.

I went for two full years without dating, as I needed to grieve the relationship and heal myself and come to terms with all of my issues surrounding my marriage and divorce before deciding to put my toe again into the dating pool and foist all of these hangups on some unsuspecting guy.  This aspect of my healing went pretty well, although I'll have to admit it took probably 3 years or so after my initial separation to fully work through all the anger I had about the relationship and the divorce.

I began dating again and vowed that things would be different this time. I discovered, however, that dating had changed dramatically in the 13 years or so that I'd been absent from the dating scene, and that I still had alot to learn about being a good partner in a romantic relationship, as well as in figuring out what I wanted in a romantic partner.  I saw the good, bad, and ugly sides of men, kissed alot of frogs, and learned a great deal about myself and what I really wanted during my journey.

Synchronicity occurs when you're ready and open to receive what you truly want.  For me, that occurred last fall when I met the man I had been looking for all of my life, Eric.  For me, it was love almost at first sight, but I knew by our second date that I had never had this degree of compatibility with anyone I had ever dated before -- not even my ex-husband, and I had married him!

Our relationship is still in its infancy, although we both feel like we've been together and known each other forever.  Perhaps we have in another life, if you believe in reincarnation.....

Here are some things I've learned through the school of hard knocks that's helping me maintain this relationship, as well as run a business, without losing either:

1.  Put your partner and the relationship first.  Running a business can be a 24/7 job, but the old adage about "no one ever says on their deathbed that they wished they'd spent more time at the office" is true.   Eric and I make time for each other during the day, despite working different schedules (he works many night and weekend shifts, and I run my business during the weekday business hours).  If he's at work, we manage to talk at least twice for short periods during his 12-hour shift, and if he's home during the day when I'm working at home, we try and eat one meal together.  At a minimum we drop into each other's home offices for several quick smooches or hugs or quick "how are you doing" conversations. 

In the past he's expressed to me his concerns that our relationship is interfering with my business.  I've told him that he's right -- it is -- and that because he's in my life, I've had to start thinking about my business differently and work in it differently than I did as a single person.  I don't work the long hours that I used to work before he came into my life.  It takes me longer to get things done, but it's a sacrifice that I'm willing to make.  Businesses come and go, but finding a soulmate is VERY hard work.

2.  Your partner needs to be your best friend.  Eric is the one with whom I share everything.  I may not always like what he says, but I respect his opinion. When I was married, I somehow got off track with my ex in terms of sharing my hopes and dreams and what I wanted in life, and shared those exclusively with my best female friend.  My ex was left out of the loop, and I made many decisions about our relationship on my own, after talking about the issue with my best female friend, not my ex-husband. Having 3 people in a relationship (2 spouses and a best friend) is one too many.  Sharing information with a best friend is fine, but don't do it to the exclusion of your romantic partner, if you want your relationship to survive.

3.  Create a calendar consisting of free days, business development days, and profit-generating days. I have mapped out on my calendar my free days (weekends, days off, holidays, and vacation days), my business development days (when I write, speak, conduct marketing activities or pursue strategic alliances) and profit-generating days  (when I'm working directly with clients). This has been an exercise in extreme discipline for me, as the temptation is always there to do some type of work on my free days.  However, in the last year, I've made myself keep my free days free, as I need that time to get away from my business and have fun and recharge. 

Since Eric has come into my life, we've set aside some of that time for date nights or weekend vacations when he's doesn't have to work on a weekend. His impish side comes out on his days off during the week when he tries to lure me out of my office to go out and goof off with him.  I've succumbed to his whims on occasion, but haven't quite gotten my business to the point of of having it run successfully without me.  That's my next goal -- to have more flexibility in my business so that it's not so dependent on my presence in my office.

4.  Share your business highs and lows with your partner.  Every time I have a big business "win", Eric is the first to hear about it.  When something doesn't go the way I'd hoped, I tell him first. My business is important to me, as is Eric's job to him, so we both make it a point to ask how the day has gone for the other, and sit and listen patiently to the good and bad portions of each other's day.  As we're both problem-solvers, it's difficult for each of us to sometimes simply let the other one vent, as we're already thinking of solutions to whatever situation is at hand. Sometimes one of us has to say, "Do you just want to vent and have me listen?" when one of us shifts into the unwanted problem-solving mode.

5.  Make time for each other.  When you have opposing work schedules, as Eric and I have, and add mandatory overtime that Eric has to work frequently during the year, we may see little of each other over the course of a week.  We've both gotten good at sensing that we're losing track of each other, and requesting a "date night" so we can talk and play and catch up.

6.  Never go to bed angry. By far, this is the hardest lesson I've had to learn.  When I was married, I would get angry at my ex and give him the silent treatment for days because I knew it drove him crazy.  Usually by day 3 or so he would crack, and we'd make up.  Now that I look back on this, I realize how immature and juvenile this way of fighting is, so the silent treatment is out as a way of fighting in my current relationship.  Eric and I have had our share of spats and disagreements, and I'm almost always the first one to wave the white flag for a truce and an end to the argument, usually within the course of an hour or so.  Life is just too short to continue to fight in stupid ways, and it's hard to regroup in a relationship if you let something fester overnight.

7.  Forgive each other for being human. It took me a long time to acknowledge that I'm not perfect, and even longer to figure out that no romantic relationship is perfect, either. Give up the notion of perfection and accept each other as you are.  One of my great faults in romantic relationships has always been the need to "fix" my partner.  I'd see the potential in a guy and stay in a relationship long after it was dead, under the guise of, "Well, if you'd only do this and this and this, you'd be so great, because you have so much potential."  Oprah said something along the lines of, "believe what they tell you the first time they tell it."  We all bring our quirks, our baggage, and our eccentricities into relationships, and do and say things that drive our partners completely nuts.  Remember that forgiveness is divine, and that it'll only be a matter of time before you need forgiveness.

8.  Say "I love you" every day...and mean it. I feel so lucky and so fortunate to have finally met the man of my dreams.  I always thought that often-quoted line, "You complete me," that Renee Zellweger's character says to Tom Cruise's character in the movie, Jerry Maguire,  was so hokey.  However, now that I've found someone with whom I'm so compatible, I've discovered a whole new meaning and nuance to that line.  I tell Eric that I love him at least once each and every day, and then go on to tell him some trait or some action he's taken that makes me fall in love with him all over again.

Being in love and running a business don't have to be mutually exclusive.  Both endeavors are hard work, and if you forget that point, you can lose one or the other in a flash. Take time to nourish both your business and your romantic relationship, and discover how having both in your life will make your life all the richer.

Our First Valentine's

I realize this isn't the typical post in this blog, but this first Valentine's Day celebration for Eric and me make me realize how truly amazing this man is that I love.

Since Eric had to work the night the 14th, our celebration started Monday night, when he took me to Beaumont's premier upscale restaurant, Bryan's 797. The setting was delightful, the service impeccable, and we had a great meal.

The morning of the 14th, I made Eric his favorite breakfast, and he gave me the most amazing book of love coupons that he wrote and illustrated, using unique "Ericisms" that I know and love so well.  It was truly the most creative gift I've ever gotten--I told him that it was like something I would typically do for someone, and that's high praise! He ended the book with a particularly poignant haiku that just melted my heart..:)  Sigh...he's an amazing guy.

In the last few weeks, I kept hinting at how it would be nice to get flowers on Valentine's Day, and he kept telling me that he didn't like to give flowers because they died so quickly.  I thought that was odd, as he gave me this incredible bouquet for our first month anniversary, but he kept sticking to his story, so I bought it, hook, line and sinker.

Just as Eric was getting ready to leave for work at 4:30 PM, the doorbell rang, and I was still in my bathrobe.  Yep, it was one of those "working in your bathrobe" days for me.  He claimed he had to finish getting ready for work in the bathroom, and so forced me to get the door.  Much to my surprise, there was a deliveryman at the door in a tux with these incredible red roses for me--a very cool contemporary vase and arrangement.  I was floored and so surprised--he had psyched me out big time!

He got the obligatory swat on the arm for fooling me, and I asked him how he was going to psych me out next year.  He said he still had a few tricks up his sleeve.  We'll see....:)

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The Reconnaissance Mission

I get settled at Sean and Bethany's (thanks for taking me in!) and take a much-needed shower.  Bethany fixed a great dinner, and we settled in for the night.

I wanted to go to sleep early, as it had been quite a stressful day, and Eric and Sean and Bethany stayed up playing a game.  Sleep was eluding me, and so I was still awake when they finished the game.

We watched the 10:00 PM news and discovered that residents could get back into Orange to check on their homes.  Eric's house is in Orange.  Beaumont residents were prohibited from returning home at this time.  Eric said that he wouldn't be able to sleep until he knew about his house, so at 1 AM on Monday morning, we set off to Orange.

After we got out of Houston on I10, I got that feeling again that we were in refugee land.  There were no lights anywhere, as no one had power, and nothing was open for business.  We were just one of a handful of cars on the freeway.  It was this way for the next 80 or so miles.

We weren't able to see much damage on the freeway, other than a few damaged highway signs, and lots of vehicles left stranded on the side of the road.  As we entered the Beaumont city limits, we discovered that all the exits off the freeway into the city were blocked by DPS officers.  I guess they were serious when they said no one was permitted back into town.

We continued east to Orange, about 30 miles outside of Beaumont.  We took the exit for Eric's street, and had to proceed VERY slowly around the downed power lines, downed poles,  and downed trees.  We eventually made it to his house, and discovered, much to our relief, that it was still standing and appeared to have little damage.  One house down and one to go.  We inspected the outside of the house, and other than limbs down around the yard and a missing screen and some missing gutters, Eric's house appeared ok.  His yard had become a shingle garden, so we assumed the top layer of shingles had come off of his roof, although the roof appeared fine.  We then realized, when we found a vent in his yard that wasn't his, that the shingles must be from his neighbor's homes.

We took a look around inside, and everything seemed ok.  Eric loaded up some more stuff, as we had heard by then that it would be 2-8 weeks before power would be restored.  We then headed back toward Beaumont to try our luck there.

Upon reaching the Beaumont city limits, I decided to pull into one of the exits and talk to the DPS officer stationed there.  I discovered he knew little more than I did, as he had been brought in from the Austin area the night before and knew nothing about what was going on locally.  All he could tell me was that he couldn't let me in to get to my home.

We drove off, resigned to the fact that I wasn't going to be able to check out my house.  Just as I was about to turn toward Houston, I wanted to check out and see if the DPS officers were also blocking the exits along US 69/96.  We exited north and discovered that the DPS was very thorough -- those exits were covered as well.  At that point, I thought I was going to have to go into the next town to turn around, as I couldn't do that from the freeway.  Suddenly, I spotted an exit that wasn't being blocked by the DPS.  I guess he must've been on a bathroom break or something..:)

I asked Eric if I should take it and go to my house -- I was quickly chickening out.  He said that I should and we did.  It was really tough to see, as there were no streetlights on, and I had to be very careful of more downed trees and power lines.  About 2 minutes after exiting, we were stopped by a DPS officer, who informed us that the city was under curfew and wanted to know how we breached the security perimeter.  We didn't know about the curfew, and I played ignorant about the security perimeter, telling the officer that I had evacuated to Jasper and I wanted to get back to my house to pick up stuff and then return to Jasper and that I had simply exited where I usually did and said that I had no problem doing so.  OK, so I told a few half-truths in the process here..<g>  He then told me to go straight home and not try to leave again until the curfew was lifted at 6 AM. 

We drove another 2 minutes and saw a swarm of DPS officers in the area.  I started to freak out, and Eric said to just be calm and keep driving until we were stopped.  Sure enough, we were pulled over again by another DPS officer.  This time I was asked for ID to prove I was a Beaumont resident, and fortunately, my driver's license had the address of the place where I'd been a housesitter earlier in the summer.  I didn't have anything to prove I lived at my current location, as I'd only been there 3 weeks.  I didn't even have a lease, as my landlord had been sick and I'd never signed one.  So, I pulled out my tattered index card with my list of addresses and phone numbers for the past 2 months and said the top address was my current one and was where I was headed.  I think my story was so pathetic that it had to be true..LOL  He told us about the curfew and said that the Beaumont Police Dept. was strictly enforcing curfew and was arresting people.  I told him that this was the 2nd time we had been stopped, all I wanted to do was go home, and would he give me a personal escort so I wouldn't be stopped again?  He turned me down for the personal escort, so we were on our own once again.

We drove a bit further, and passed Wal-Mart, and was amazed that their entire parking lot was lit.  Only Wally World could pull that off when no one else could..LOL I told Eric that I wanted to hide out until the curfew lifted, as I was afraid out luck would run out and we'd be arrested, so we pulled into a damaged car wash and "went to ground", as Eric called it. It was 5:15 AM by then, and we had to hang out for 45 minutes. I kept the car on to run the AC, as the humidity had seriously reached 100% and it was hotter than hell, even at 5 AM.  The mosquitos were out in full force, and I kept talking about the irony of surviving the hurricane but dying of West Nile virus, which is carried by mosquitoes. 

Just before 6 AM, we saw all the DPS officers make a mass exodus from the street.  About 6:10 AM, we came out of hiding and proceeded to my house -- a trip that would normally only take 15 minutes or so from our current location took at least twice that.  We arrived at my house and found, to my great relief, that it was still standing and was still intact.  Not even a window was broken! I loaded up some more computer equipment and clothing, and we left Beaumont around 7 AM Monday morning.  The DPS officers were still stationed at all the exits, but no one stopped us again, and we headed back to Houston.

Life was good--both houses survived pretty intact.  Power would be off for awhile, and we'd have to find temporary lodgings, but things could be so much worse. We arrived back in Houston, slept all day, and then got up and started playing dialing for housing to find a place to live.

Around 8 PM we hit paydirt.  Extended stay hotel rooms with broadband Internet and a kitchen were in short supply, as many Hurricane Katrina evacuees were still in the Houston area.  We found a hotel in Clear Lake, south of Houston, and made a reservation for a month, just to be safe.

On Wednesday, we moved into the hotel, and I got my biz back up and running that Thursday.  Thank goodness for my virtual biz--I have friends with brick and mortar businesses who were out of business for the time being until power is restored.

I hope never to have to evacuate for a hurricane again--once was quite enough!

The Journey to Houston

I get up around 8 AM Sunday morning and begin to pack my truck for my trip to Houston.  I've called Eric to tell him that I'm on my way, and he's assured me that there are some gas stations open in Houston and that if I can get to Humble, he and his friend Sean can come and rescue me if I run out of gas.  I've only got a half tank of gas left, and there's nothing open anywhere for me to purchase gas.

I tell my sister and niece good-bye and give my best wishes to the new friends I've made at the shelter.  Eric has told me that the roads are in rough shape -- power lines are down all over, and in many places, trees are almost completely blocking the highways. It's treacherous going, but he said that if he was able to negotiate all the roadblocks at night, I should be able to handle them during the daylight hours.  I head out west of Jasper, and decide to stop in and see my mom on my way to Houston.  I am just barely able to get to her house, as the number of trees blocking the Farm-to-Market road to her house is amazing.  I find out later that the only reason the road is passable is that my cousin Steve and his neighbor Grady cut a passageway through the trees with their chain saws so that they could get out to the main highway.

I find my mom at her house, and she's about completely overwhelmed with all trees down in her yard.  She's not in the best of moods, and I tell her that I'm headed to Houston, as that is my best chance of being able to get my business back up and running.  My cousin Steve will help her with tree removal as soon as he's finished clearing the land around his house, and because my mom is staying with my aunt and uncle, so I feel pretty confident that she'll be ok.

So, off I go, and the tree dance begins.  I'm unable to go faster than 35-40 MPH because of all the downed power lines and downed trees.  I'm just amazed that Eric was able to do this at night without getting in an accident.  The roadway debris lessens about 40 miles outside of Jasper, and I'm able to pick up some speed.  The damage I see, however, is just amazing.  There's no other word for it.  I've never seen anything like this in my entire life.  And, there's little traffic on the roads, no businesses are open, and there's doesn't appear to be a soul around.  It's like everyone was lifted off the face of the earth.

As I near Livingston, I begin to see cars pulled over on the side of the road with their hoods up.  They've either run out of gas or are having engine trouble.  One family has made a sign that says, "Help us."  I don't stop -- I can't stop, as much as I might want to help these people.  I'm completely in refugee mode--what's mine is mine, and I'm not sharing.  If I stop and give away the water and food that I squirreled away for my trip, that will leave me without anything. The day is growing hotter and more humid by the moment.  And, if I offer to pick up a family to take them someplace, I have no guarantee that I'll be able to get to my destination without running out of gas.  I hate being in this situation -- I hate leaving people stranded by the road.  But leave them I do, and move on.

I arrive in Livingston, and begin to look for a gas station.  I see alot of cars at a gas station and think that they're gasing up.  When I pull in, I realize the station is closed and all of these people have just taken refuge from the heat under the roof covering the gas pump area.  False alarm.  I drive through town and realize that for 50 miles outside of Jasper, there's no gas, food or water to be had.  Now I'm really getting scared as I fully realize the magnitude of this disaster.

I decide to push forward to Houston, and attempt to get on US 59 to start this second leg of my journey.  Much to my surprise, the roadway is blocked.  Now I don't know what to do.  I see a TX DOT worker and I pull over and get out of my car to find out how to get to Houston and why the highway is blocked.  I discover that a barge has hit the Trinity River bridge and so TX DOT has shut down the highway until they can fully assess the damage to the bridge and ensure that the roadway is again safe.  The TX DOT worker tells me to stay on US 190W and pick up I45 in Huntsville.  I head out of Livingston to follow those directions and discover the traffic gridlock has already begun.

Traffic is at a complete standstill, and I have less than a half tank of gas.  The temperature is rising by the moment, and must be up around 95 degrees by 11 AM. I can see the handwriting on the wall -- if I try and leave Livingston on this route, I'm going to run out of gas before I even hit Huntsville.  Sitting out in 100 degree weather with 90% percent humidity in my car on the side of the road has no appeal for me..:)  I call Eric in a panic -- I don't know another route to get to Houston, so I see my only alternative is to return to Jasper.  I'll have enough gas to get there, but then I'll be stuck, as there's no gas to be had in the town.

Eric is out fruitlessly searching for gas cans (there are none to be had in Houston) so that he can buy some gas to put in my vehicle should I need it if he has to come and rescue me. After my panic-stricken call, he calls his friend Sean, who consults with Google maps and finds me two backroads that will help me get around the bridge and get me back on US59.  I'm in tears by this point, as the stress level has just overwhelmed me.  Sean eventually gets me to calm down so that I can accurately tell him where I am and so that he can give me directions.

I finally am able to understand the directions that Sean has given me, and set off to find these backroads.  Some others have had the same idea, but the amount of traffic is MUCH less than the gridlock on US 190W.  I'm able to make pretty good time and find these roads to be pretty clear of fallen trees, much to my relief.  On the journey, one of my clients, Lin Schreiber, reaches me on my cell phone to find out how I'm doing.  I vent to her about what's happened, and it's a great stress relief to talk to another human being..I'm not all alone!:)  Thanks, Lin!

I finally reach Cleveland, and discover that Cleveland is also a ghost town.  No one is around, and all businesses are closed.  I begin to wonder if I'm the only person left on Earth..:)  I find US 59 and head to Houston.  Little traffic is on the road, and every little town I go through is completely deserted.  It's not until I hit Humble that I see signs of life.  Gas stations that have gas.  Businesses that have power and are open.  Buildings that aren't destroyed.  I've spoken to Eric several times on the way, and he has encouraged me to stop off in Humble and grab a bite to eat.  I see that my favorite Chinese restaurant by Deerbrook Mall is open, and I pull in.

After I'm seated and order, I sit there and am overcome by emotion.  Here I am, sitting in air conditioning and being served hot food, while 120 miles to the north, and for about a 120 mile radius of Beaumont, there are desperate people who have nothing right now.  Families who are stuck on the side of the road because they've run out of gas and are sweltering in the heat.  People who decided to sit out the hurricane at home and have run out of food and water.  Evacuees in shelters who have no power, no air conditioning, no running water.  Folks who have had their homes cut in two by downed pine trees. People who have no homes left to come home to.  I want to scream at the unfairness of it all and shake these restaurant patrons out of their comfort zone into taking some helpful action to help those people that I just left.

Instead, I wait for Eric, and when he arrives, begin to cry -- again.  I try to explain to him what I'm feeling, and don't think I'm doing a great job.  I know part of what's going on is that I'm tired and completely stressed out and feel completely helpless.  Eric lets me get this out of my system and just listens patiently as I tell him what I've seen and experienced that morning. He asks what he can do for me -- what he can get me.  I just tell him that everything I need is right here -- meaning him -- and he almost starts to cry..:)

I calm down and become more clear-headed and finish my meal, and then we head to Houston to the home of his friends.  Once we've arrived in Houston, the first thing I do is get gasoline....:)

Note--All the photos in the hurricane section of this blog are courtesy of KJAS Radio, www.kjas.com in Jasper.  While I didn't take them, I'm using them to illustrate the kinds of things I saw during Hurricane Rita.

The Morning After

9:00 AM rolls around, and it's so dark that it appears to be just before dawn instead.  The wind is still blowing, but the temperature has dropped--it's probably in the 70's at this point. We're told that we're in the eye of the storm, and that there will be Round 2 of the storm after the eye passes, bringing with it 80-mile-an-hour winds. The Coast Guard permits us to go outside and start to survey the damage.  The brand-new sign that the church had just installed is missing, much to the chagrin of Pastor Lisa. Three of the vehicles in the parking lot and under the awning have broken windows, but none were flipped or destroyed.  I breathe a great sigh of relief that my CR-V is ok and that all of my business computer equipment is intact.

Amazingly enough, cell phone service through Cingular is working.  The one service I would have bet would've never survived hurricane-force winds is the only service that's working.  I'm able to call my mom and discovered that she has trees down all around her house, one on her house, and a strip of the roof that has been ripped off.  Other family members aren't so fortunate.  They have more extensive tree damage, but the homes are livable at this point, although it's hotter than hell without any electricity. And, the temperature is slated to return to our normal 100 degree days by Sunday.

We cobble together a cold lunch from the leftovers from the day before. We're still waiting to get out of the eye of the storm, and by 3 PM or so one of the Coasties has called his parents in NY, who report that the Weather Channels said the eye of the storm was at the TX-AR border. All but about 4 of the Coasties are then called back to the Beaumont area and to see what remains of their station in Sabine Pass, but they leave their families at the shelter. The remaining Coasties give us permission to return to our rooms.  Eric and I sacked out for the rest of the afternoon, although I don't sleep too well in the muggy weather.

We get up around 6 PM, and I wanted to go scout the damage in Jasper and see if anything (particularly gas stations) might be open.  We go north, south, east, and west of the center of town, and are amazed at the damage we see.  Nothing at all is open, and no one is out.  It's rather eerie.

Early in the evening, the owners of the Poco Cafe, located next to the church, start to bring over sandwich fixings that need to be used ASAP before they spoil. I volunteered to be on supper detail, as I was very restless and had too much time on my hands. We had extra mouths to feed, as a large search and rescue dive team had just arrived from the Austin area, and they were being deployed to the Beaumont area early the next morning to do search and rescue in the flooded areas.

In the middle of serving supper, Eric tells me that he's been in touch with friends in Houston who didn't evacuate (and who never lost power) and that he's headed to Houston that night.  He asks if I want to go, too, and I refuse, saying that it's silly to try and navigate at night with all the downed trees and power lines.  However, he's adamant about going, and departs around 7 PM.

I spend the rest of the evening making sandwiches for various emergency crews and talking to them as they drop into the kitchen.  By 11 PM or so, I'm dead tired and head to bed.  Eric calls to tell me he arrived safely in Houston, and wants to know if I'll join him on Sunday.  I'm still undecided, as all that is familiar to me is in Jasper, and all my family is here.  He tells me that I'm welcome at the home of his friends and that I should call if I change my mind. 

After he hangs up, I think about what he's said and realize that I've been listening to the radio all day for news of Beaumont, and none is forthcoming.  The Houston TV stations are sending reporter crews to Beaumont, as all of the Beaumont media vacated for the hurricane and none of the TV or radio stations or newspapers were back up and running. I've got more than enough Jasper information, as my brother is on the radio several times that night talking about what's going on and what people need to do if they need help.  However comforting that might be to me, it's not helping me move on with my life in Beaumont, and I have a business that I need to get up and running ASAP.  I decide then and there that I need to join Eric in Houston on Sunday.

Note--All the photos in the hurricane section of this blog are courtesy of KJAS Radio, www.kjas.com in Jasper.  While I didn't take them, I'm using them to illustrate the kinds of things I saw during Hurricane Rita.

The Arrival of Rita

Sometime later, I heard some loud noises, like glass breaking and people in the hallway.  My sister opened our door again and told us we needed to gather our stuff and get to the safe wall immediately.  Some windows had broken and water was pouring into the building. I woke Eric up and we moved from the back of the building to the middle, near the safe wall.  All of our belongings were put in one room, and all the evacuees were divided up among the available rooms near the safe wall.  We ended up in Rachel's room (with her brother, Dylan), along with my sister and niece and the family of another of the Jasper firemen.  The wind sounded much louder here, and the building was creaking louder than ever.  Quite frankly, I thought we were probably safer in the back of the building. I wasn't sure about how safe this "safe wall" was.   

I guess being in this cavernous building insulated us from hearing the noises of things being ripped up and destroyed outside.  Good thing, as that would have probably sent me over the edge..:)

Eventually having 15 people in this tiny room got too claustrophobic for me, so Eric and I got up and moved down the hall to a much larger room.  It was around 6 or 7 AM by this time, although it still felt like the dead of night.  This room had a radio in it, tuned to the local radio station, KJAS, www.kjas.com. The station owner, announcer, reporter, and chief cook and bottle washer -- Mike Lout -- had managed to stay on the air all night long.

By this time, the worst of the storm has passed, and we were now in the eye of the storm.  Mike, being the intrepid reporter that he is, felt it necessary to go out in his truck and do a live broadcast from the field to let the listeners know about the damage he encountered.  Mike ventured out on the streets of Jasper, and what he reported wasn't pretty.  Trees were down all over the place, which wasn't surprising, given that the timber industry is the primary industry in the area, and some buildings were completely destroyed, while others were untouched.  I assume that some of the building damage may have come from tornadoes, for as soon as the primary winds and rain from the hurricane passed, we were under a tornado watch for the next several hours.  That's the great thing about living in Southeast Texas--if Mother Nature doesn't get you the first time around, she creates some other natural disaster for round two..LOL

The winds were still fairly strong as Mike reported from the field, and apparently he had some very close calls with pieces of metal and debris that were whipping through the air, but managed to miss his truck as he drove around the area.  Despite the obstacles, he made his rounds of the major highways in town, and told residents (by name) as he passed their homes about the condition of their homes and business owners (by name) about the condition of their businesses.  Many of my friends have asked me if I lived in Mayberry when I lived in Jasper from 1998-2003, as everyone knows everyone else, as well as everyone else's business..LOL  It's definitely small town living at its best, with all the good, bad, and ugly that goes with it.  However, if I had to be in a town and be in trouble, as we were during Hurricane Rita, I wouldn't have wanted to be anyplace else.  It's comforting to be in a place where everyone knows your name and where the local radio station owner can broadcast live about the condition of your home because he knows where you live..:)

Note--All the photos in the hurricane section of this blog are courtesy of KJAS Radio, www.kjas.com in Jasper.  While I didn't take them, I'm using them to illustrate the kinds of things I saw during Hurricane Rita.