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Zen Sarcasm

Those of you who know me well probably know that some (much?) of my humor is sarcastic.  Here's some Zen sarcasm to brighten your day:

The Zen of Sarcasm

1. Do not walk behind me,  for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,  for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either  Just pretty much leave me alone.

2.  It's always darkest before dawn.  So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

3. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

4. Always remember that you're unique.  Just like everyone else.

5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

6. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes

8.  If at first you don't succeed,  skydiving is probably not for you.

9.  Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

10. If  you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.

11.  If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12.  Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

13.  Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

14.  The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

15.   A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16.   There are two theories to arguing with women.  Neither one works.

17.   Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

18.   Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

19.   Never miss a good chance to shut up.

20.   Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Making Money From Your Blog

I'm always getting the question about whether it's really possible to monetize your blog. The answer is "yes," but success is this arena depends upon choosing the right topic for a finely defined target market.

The example I'll give is one I read about in this morning's issue of the online Houston Chronicle, which featured an article about stay-at-home mom, Erin Chase, who needed to cut expenses and looked at her grocery bill to help her accomplish this. It's funny how something old becomes new again -- I remember my mom being the ultimate thrift maven in the 70s who stretched a buck until it bled .. LOL.

After bragging to her husband about creating many of their meals for less than $5, she began to search the Internet to discover if anyone else was writing about this topic. Discovering none, she quickly went out and bought the domain, http://www.5dollardinners.com/, and created her first web site. The site quickly gained traffic and she realized she might have a business on her hands.

She had the site redesigned and then started taking advertising on it, and major media began calling her for interviews. Who knows how she might monetize this business beyond advertising in the future?

Take a look at your hobbies, interests, experiences, or family needs. You just might have a monetizable blog waiting to be born..:)

The Joy of Affiliate Income

I receive some healthy checks/payments each month as an affiliate of products and services that I use in my business and can heartily recommend. Amazingly enough, some clients that I speak with feel "weird" about profiting from their recommendations.  My advice?  Get over it! :)  It's a great profit stream for your biz.

I don't go out and endorse everything that comes my way -- much of it is junk and useless to my list.  However, when I'm happy with a product or service and have no qualms about encouraging others to get the same results I have from using it, I love to make a small commission by making others happy.

What products and services do you use regularly in your life or your business that you readily endorse?  When you've got your list together and your affiliate links, place those on your site, your blog, your ezine, and any other place that makes sense.

And, if you'd like to check out a very cool way to make recurring affiliate commissions, check out my affiliate program.

A Recession Offers Great Opportunities for Self-Employment

While the rest of the world wrings its hands about the state of the economy (if you can believe what the media reports), I'm happy to report that my business is booming.  Instead of a downturn, I've got almost more business than I can handle.  I've read many sad comments on newspaper blogs where members of the public who've recently been laid off are lamenting their status, and continue to complain about the lack of work available to them. 

There are plenty of opportunities available -- you just have to be open to seeing them.  Never has the time been better to open your own business, or at least throw your hat into the freelance pool to maintain a steady cash flow while seeking full-time employment.  Granted, not everyone is meant to be self-employed -- it takes patience, determination, and motivation to go into your office each day and either serve your clients or market your business.

However, a layoff from your job may turn out to be the best thing that's ever happened to you, especially if it motivates you to pursue that secret dream of running your own business.  I fired myself from my job 11 years ago (by quitting) and began my exhilarating self-employment journey shortly thereafter. 

I wouldn't advocate following in my footsteps in the manner I chose, but my method provided the needed motivation to get me into gear and do what I needed to do to succeed.

What motivation do you need to get moving?

Here's an opportunity to find some motivation for yourself by participating in a great teleclass on career transitions (one of my clients is a panelist):  Eight Steps to a Successful Career Transition on June 29.

In Cleaning Mode

My vacation didn't end up being what I'd hoped for, as Eric came down with a bad cold, and I spent the week getting him healthy enough to return to work.  He gets only 4 sick days per year, but if he uses any of them, he receives a lower score on his performance evaluation.  Consequently, when employees at his plant are ill, they either come in sick (Eric caught his cold from a co-worker) or they make sure they go out on short-term disability, where there's no penalty assessed on their performance review.  I find this a very strange system, but Eric assures me that it works better than having sick days in a shift-work environment, where employees tend to abuse the system.  Go figure..:)

I did alot of reading and finished watching my fav Australian TV series, McLeod's Daughters, and managed to stay off my computer, for the most part.  As you might imagine, I had lots of email pile up, so I spent the bulk of Monday cleaning out my email inbox and unsubscribing to many lists.  I targeted those lists where I get emails each day from the list owner.

I can't believe how difficult it is to get off some of those lists! The bulk of the lists permitted me to opt-out with just one click. However, others required me to log-in to a site to update my preferences, or to remember what email address I'd used to join the list and enter that email address to opt-out.  Why would any business want to hang onto people who are trapped on a list? 

How hard is it opt-out of the lists you control?  Go through your opt-in system and make sure that it's easy for your subscribers to remove themselves from you lists. If it isn't, find an email marketing system that does make it easy (hint: I use GetMoreClientsAutoresponder.com).

Taking Time Off

This will be my last blog post for this month, as I'm taking next week off as a birthday treat to myself.  I turn 46 next Wednesday.  Wasn't I just 39 yesterday?? LOL  Or, perhaps I can say I'm celebrating my 7th annual 39th birthday..<g>.

I prefer low-key vacations, so most of it I'll spend at home doing things I don't normally have time to do, like potting some plants, finishing a few books, and cleaning out my office (yes, I know this doesn't sound like a fun vacation task, but I get great joy out of decluttering my living space <g>).  I think Eric and I may head overnight to Galveston for my birthday celebration and eat at two of our fav restaurants, Gaido's Seafood and Mogul (Indian cuisine) in Clear Lake.

We haven't been to the coast since Hurricane Ike landed in SE Texas last September, so I want to see how Galveston is recovering and throw some much-needed business to some of my favorite shops and restaurants there.  And, it'll be fun to be at the beach, as well!

What's Old is New Again

Eric and I went to see the new Star Trek movie over the weekend.  It's a great movie, btw, if you have any interest in the Star Trek franchise, although they did change the storyline a bit..;) I remarked to Eric that it looks as though we're coming full circle in our lives.  Hollywood is now regularly filming remakes of movies/TV shows where the originals were created during our lifetime (i.e. Charlie's Angels,Brady Bunch, Star Trek).  I see some fashion trends returning as well (let's hope that we don't see maxi dresses or go-go boots again! <g>), as well as the return of some tried and true marketing methods, like direct mail.

So, does that mean that there are really no new ideas -- that the best we can do is remake what has already been created?  I sincerely hope not, although it is fun to see things that were in our imaginations 40-50 years ago now coming of age due to advances in technology.  Hey Scottie, can you beam me up??  Oh, if only the Star Trek transporter was available today -- I might decide traveling is worthwhile again! LOL

The Last Time I...

This coming weekend is Mother's Day here in the U.S., and it'll be the first one without my mom, who passed away in July of last year. Every time I see a Hallmark commercial or a Teleflora commercial, I think, "Oh, I've got to remember to get Mom's Mother's Day gift."  And then it hits me again that no, I don't have to.

I was watching a movie over the weekend, Griffin and Phoenix, about two single adults who discover the joy of life as they are living the last days of theirs, each having been diagnosed with terminal cancer. The female character, Sarah Phoenix, tells Griffin how she had been thinking about all the last times in her life -- the last time she wrote with a pencil, the last time she celebrated Christmas, etc. and how she didn't pay attention to those events because they didn't seem to matter at the time.

I had so many of the same thoughts after my mom died -- the last Thanksgiving, the last Christmas, the last Easter, the last visit. I wish I'd hung onto the last birthday card she'd sent me, but I didn't, and now there will be no more.

My mom's death has made me acutely aware of the magic of life, and how it can disappear in an instant. When you get to the mid-life point and realize that you probably have more time behind you than ahead of you, every moment seems so much more precious, and you wonder about all the time you wasted in your youth. I've come to the conclusion that youth is wasted on the young..LOL

Eric and I will be headed to my hometown this weekend for a special remembrance of my mom, and we plan to go eat at one of her favorite restaurants and hang out in some of her favorite stores in her favorite nearby town.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!

The Power of a Written Thank You Note

This past week I received via snail mail two handwritten thank you notes (and two small thank-you gifts) from two businesses I've mentioned in my blog over the last couple of weeks.  The first was from Adams Sobel of  Ear2EarHeadsets.com  thanking me for the business I'd sent his way. 

The second was from a customer sales rep from online megastore  Zappos.com who thanked me for my great review of their service in my blog.  I loved the metal bookmark that they sent with the tiny shoe dangling from it -- it was very cute and very cool!

I think that the power of a handwritten thank you note is often overlooked in this day and age of electronic communication. I admit it -- I'm one of the laziest communicators in the world.  It's seldom that I even buy a hard copy greeting card to send to someone when I can send and electronic version much faster through my  BlueMountain.com account.  And, I can even send a hard copy card or postcard from my  SendOutCards.com  account, even though I think most of their cards look kinda cheesy, and I can spot a Send Out Card immediately when I get it in the mail.

Handwritten notes are now more valuable than ever before, and certainly more memorable because they are so few and far between.  When's the last time you sent a snail mail thank you?  I honestly can't remember when I did so last, I'm embarrassed to
acknowledge..:) 

If you're looking for a unique way to stand out with your prospective customers, send them a handwritten note.  I bet anything that they remember it -- and you!

Zapped by Zappo's

Last week I was introduced to the online powerstore Zappos.com, which I've heard about for the last year as the company whose customer service is legendary.  It all began with my shoe-aholic husband, Eric, whose sneakers started to fall apart in my car after we left the disc golf course last week.  I found a piece of his shoe sole on my floorboard, and when I showed it to him, he wanted to go shoe shopping that night to buy a new pair.

I hate shoe shopping and balked at going, so he began his search for new sneakers online at his fav online shoe store, Zappos.  He located the sneaker that he wanted but there was a discrepancy between the size shown on his current pair of shoes and the sizes displayed on the Zappos site.  So, he called them and spent about 20 minutes quizzing the woman who answered the phone about shoe sizes and shoes she would recommend for disc golf.  He was so impressed with her care and concern that he ordered 3 pairs of shoes from them and then had me look for shoes, as well.

I've been in the market for a new pair of flat black summer sandals that have some arch support and hadn't had any luck in locating any that I liked.  Imelda Marcos (oops, I mean Eric<g>) told me to search a certain brand he favored, and I found exactly what I'd been seeking. I was able to see every nook and cranny on the shoe due to Zappos' multiple images of each item (Eric refers to this feature as Multi-View).  The free domestic shipping (including return shipping, if needed), the 365-day return policy, and no state sales tax sealed the deal for me, and I ordered them.

Rarely have I seen a company take such good care of its customers and train their employees so well.  More amazingly, the ability to talk to a real, live human being is an added benefit that many online superstores don't offer (case in point -- ever tried to call Amazon.com?)

How can you incorporate a little Zappos in your biz?